he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
