Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
