Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
