i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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