Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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