..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
