you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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