"it" just moved
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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