What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
