we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
