he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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