her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
