New invention idea: vibrating tampons
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
