I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize