Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Text me some of your sweat
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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