Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize