i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
