in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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