Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dear god my vagina.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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