My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
