Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize