Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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