Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
