TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
