Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
