Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
