the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
