Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
