does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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