So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
