Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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