it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
