The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
