Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
