your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
