just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
