It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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