You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
