I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
not ubering you a puppy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
