dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
