Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
