Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
