he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just tell him i said nine months
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
