I can tuck mytits in my pants
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
