I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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