hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he fucked my hip out of place.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize