i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
