just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
