That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
