Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
