Im at strip club and am horny
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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