Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
