so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
