Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize