Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
