I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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