she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
