I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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