She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
