she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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