How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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